Y’all, this saying is so important, and I’m constantly trying to find ways to ensure everyone knows it. “You Matter“- two simple words strung together so perfectly. When I first started dating my spouse, we realized we were two very broken people who weren’t sure we knew how to love anymore. We both had come from failed relationship after failed relationship, and we each had decided we were done. We were going to live our lives alone. We had come to terms with it, and that was okay. He had three beautiful children and I had my gorgeous daughter, and it was enough for us. Somehow, the stars aligned perfectly, and we stumbled upon each other, and this saying was, and still is, the base of our relationship.
I think many of us have known toxicity in some relationship in our lives. We try so hard to fix them. We pray they change. We push them to be better. We work on them so much, and are so obsessed, that we lose ourselves, only to realize that the only way they will change is if they want to. And it kills us. We forget what we are worth. We forget to love ourselves. We forget that we exist as a person because we are so busy trying to make someone else, who couldn’t care less, have self love. But, one thing Amira (truly her mother) has taught me, is that you can’t pour from an empty cup. In translation: you can’t give love if you don’t matter to yourself.
Could you imagine a world of women who start putting themselves before everyone else?! What a beautiful world it would be! I’m not saying forget about your spouse and kids, although, some days, that would be nice HA! All I’m saying is get ya hair done! Take a longer than usual shower that turns into a bubble bath where you sing your heart out to your favorite uplifting songs! Go get your nails done! Take a weekend getaway with your girlfriends! And, speaking of girlfriends, MAKE SOME! Go out during the week for dinner and a drink! It takes a damn tribe, my friends. I rely on Amira for everything that happens in my life. She’s the biggest blessing, even a thousand miles away. We can’t grab dinner or celebrate our birthdays, but I can call her with ugly makeup streams down my face and I know she won’t judge me. I know she will embrace my pain and help me through it all. Find you a spouse and a BFF that will do those things for you, simply because you matter to them.
Before I found my spouse, I didn’t know I was supposed to ensure I was happy. I was a single mom to an insane two year old filled with demands. How did I have time for me? He saw that I was broken and completely exhausted, and has consistently found ways to make sure I know I am loved. Some days it’s my depression kicking my ass and he throws me in the tub to wash my hair, or lets me sleep in because he can tell that I’m exhausted (typically because he wakes up and sees yesterdays makeup smeared on my face and my mouth wide open lmao), and he even occasionally cooks dinner because, well, toddlers are assholes and he knows I’ve had a rough day with her. He sees my pain in the hardest times and drops everything to make sure I get to have a day dedicated to me. Find you a man that will, ladies. You are worth it because, dare I say it again? YOU EFFING MATTER!
Much like having a little gratitude at the end of your day (see my other post xoxo), loving yourself more, and putting yourself first once in a while, will change your life. I am living proof. Don’t give up on yourself because you think other things are more important. Without you in the first place, the other things wouldn’t exist. You are what holds the things around you together. Show yourself a little more love. You deserve it!