One thing Amira and I both struggle with, I think, is constantly looking at the negative things going on. CONSTANTLY. We call each other a few times a week, most of the time rattling on about what our spouse or kid did, what isn’t going right, why life sucks, etc. We spend so much time seeking out the negative things, that we don’t even realize there’s anything positive around us at all. We all have faults! And I bet Amira and I are not the only ones who do this…. Are we? You’re probably feeling guilty just reading it! But, don’t because, like I said before, I want this to be a place where women feel connected and not alone. And, in this, my dear, you are definitely not alone.
Because of this, we both decided (without telling each other, might I add) that we were going to seek a journey of gratitude. I read that you can literally retrain your brain by acknowledging 3 things you are grateful for at the end of each day, and writing them down. Funny thing, Amira read the same thing! I made a vow to start on Feb. 1, but have already started the process mentally. YOU GUYS, it’s life changing!
If you go to bed thinking of the 3 things in that day that made you happy, instead of all the loads of dishes and laundry that didn’t get done, or questioning if your kid brushed their teeth before you laid them down, or that thing you said to your spouse because you just knew it would get under their skin and you’re now regretting it… I could go on and on. But, seriously! If you start to focus on the happy, you literally start waking up happy. MIND BLOWN. All of a sudden, my first thoughts of the day aren’t all the crap that needs to get done.. It’s the little things. “Today I want to make the family a nice brunch.” or “Today I’m going to make more of an effort to play with my daughter.” or “Today I DESERVE some self care, so I’m going to take a bubble bath, deep condition my hair, and shave all my body parts at once!” I’m telling you, sister, you’re life is going to change.
I do need to add, we need to remember that this is not our own doing. Society tells us that we need to go to college out of high school, have a degree by 22 or 23, get a “real” job by 25, and then we get to start thinking about trying to settle down with marriage and babies. Our entire lives are on someone else’s time schedule! But, it doesn’t always work like that, now does it? No, ma’am! But, because we are told these things, we start to believe them, so then we start comparing. “Well, Janet from 9th grade home ec got a scholarship and she graduated at the top of her class in college as part of [insert some greek sorority here] and was given an internship the year before she even graduated AND she got engaged and found the love of her life, all by 24..” Okay, cool. Go Janet from 9th grade home ec. She isn’t YOU. Your accomplishments are simply on a different path then Janet’s. AND THAT’S OKAY! If you were just like everyone else, you wouldn’t be you.
So, I say, we start looking at what we ARE getting right, instead of comparing with someone on social media or at work, because your path has a purpose, and you matter.